Of things that are useful ... or maybe not!

At face value, some things seem really useful, but then in practice, not so much. No, I'm not talking about men, because besides that being too obvious and too easy, I don't want to turn this blog into a male bashing realm, because in all honesty, most of the greatest, funniest, and most supportive people I know do happen to be males. Also, with the right smile-eyes-height combination, and when our hormones feel like it, guys can turn the most ardent feminists among us into schoolgirlish bundles of squee, leading us all to regress into baking cakes made with luuuurve.

What usually happens after the haze of wuv fades away (generally after the perfect man starts to talk about his work/car/football team/thoughts about women/his mother) is that we then progress to online shopping and allow the clicking to drown away the drone.

But enough of that! The "useful but not quite" things I want to talk about are of the [slightly] more inanimate kind.

1. Tights

Tights (for the English), or calzemaglie (for the Italians), or collant (also for the Italians but presumably for the French as well), or the god awful sounding pantyhose (for the Americans, but pronounced as Panny-Hose, since the "t"s randomly eff off when speaking English (US) ) are, really, a wonderful invention. For ladies like me, with their 1m58 of lilliputian glory - I have also been described as a marble on legs - who have not been endowed with stilts as legs that reach up to the neck, wearing dark opaque tights is the answer to the problem of loving a dress but not having the legs to carry it off. Tights also keep us snug and warm, hide unsightly bits and make us feel elegant. The best invention since nutella right?

WRONG!!!

These infernal nylon bastards tear up. Constantly. With the slightest tug and marginally less than coaxful pull, you're faced with a disgusting ladder of shredded material or an meteor sized hole just below the hem line that gives you the gothic, slutty look just on your way to a meeting with people-who-are-so-much-more-important-than-you. The SoBs also have a habit of tearing up when you're just too late for work already, and when your day has already started on a bad note when you pressed the dismiss rather than the snooze button.

So really tights, kudos for effort really ... but FAAAAAAIL.

2. Girlie umbrellas that fit in your girlie handbag.

I'm not even going to bother with these losers. They are compact, and cute and generally found in overpriced accessory shops next to useless shiny thingies that are not worth the fake glitter they're covered in. How do I know this? Because I've owned more of them than I care to admit, and I've owned one until 6.56am of this morning. Because you know, at 6.57am a breeze slightly stronger than my impatient sighs on a grumpy day happened to blow my way, and the damn thing broke and left me, and my hair, to face the Monday morning shower with a feeling slightly akin to disbelief (Umbrella ... imma int bis-serjeta???? kind of thing)

So by the aforementioned 6.57am, I had torn two pairs of tights, and broken my umbrella. I am pleased to say however that, for my sake and that of my colleagues, my day did not suck as much as those two bad omens had led me to believe ;).

So, any other thoughts on what might be classified as almost useful but not quite? I'm tempted to mention the newly built Juventus stadium that might be useful to the Football Club but seems imminently destined to crumble but I'm not really in a position to throw sh*t over that ghastly team at this point in time, am I? One is tempted though. Sorely so.

But I won't! And also on that note ... the Heysel banner was in very bad taste. Shame.

Over and out!

Gracie :)